Different Kinds of Dom & Sub in the BDSM World
Typically, Dom & Sub relationships tend to bring to mind a relationship between an experienced Dom and an innocent sub. In truth, it’s far more complex than that. There are different kinds of power dynamics and relationship types that can be sexual, non-sexual or a mix of both. Let’s explore the different kinds of Dom & Sub in the BDSM world. One fundamental rule is that all play is consensual.
Dominants
Dominants are narrowed down as people who simply strive for control in sexual situations, however, there are different types.
Some are sadists, enjoying the infliction of pain or humiliation of their partner with consent. While others may enjoy the ritualistic aspect of certain acts. Some seek to be a teacher or a guide, nurturing kinky interest or acting as an authoritarian who wants to challenge their submissive to make changes and improve their life or change bad habits.
Master/Mistress
Many people use these as titles for their Dominant. A Master or Mistress will expect compliance from their sub at some degree or other. Some may treat their subs as an object that is ignored unless needed or want them ‘trained’ to anticipate their needs.
Daddy/Mommy
A Daddy or Mommy Dominant simply describes the type of Dom that is nurturing and affectionate to their ‘Little’ who may act out childishly.
FemDom
Always a woman, the FemDom can have a male or female submissive but will assume traditionally ‘male’ gender roles, whether always or only during sexual play. This may involve the humiliation of a male partner as they are “forced” into feminine roles.
Submissives
Submissives are those who submit themselves to the external control of their Dominant. With every relationship, a submissive can take many forms. One unchangeable factor is this relationship requires trust in the Dominant. However, they can largely be categorized into service, sexual, pain, or some combination of the above.
Service submissive
They spend their time anticipating their Dom’s needs to make them more comfortable, like making them tea/coffee or preparing baths. Therefore, service submission is not (necessarily) sexual submission. It tends to refer to submissive who perform services for their Dominant
Sexual submissive
While they make themselves available to be trained for specific sexual acts. These evidently have been discussed, prearranged and have agreed set limits.
Pain submissive
They are simply masochistic. They usually enjoy pain. These submissives are often only submissive in the bedroom or during a play session but revert back to an equal relationship when not getting his or her “pain needs” met.
Slave
A slave is a form of submission in which the submissive relinquish all of their power to their Master. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their Masters. This type of sub doesn’t set their own limits, their boundaries are set for them by their master or mistress. A slave must ask permission before doing anything and be available for sexual activities whenever requested. They are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties. It’s also common that they wear a collar to signal ‘ownership’.
Pet
Pet play―commonly pony, puppy or kitty play― can involve costumes and accessories like tails, cages, collars or leashes. Some may enjoy the aspect of dehumanization and exhibitionism, while others may enjoy letting ‘loose’ and relaxing while their ‘Owner’ strokes or pets them. This is not in any way related to bestiality. It means being safe and protected but loyal as a pet would with its owner.
Little
A little is an adult who adopts a role where they look to their Dom for protection and care. In a similar way that a child looks for protection from their parents. This re-enactment revolves around human age play. This type of power dynamic can often be nonsexual but can involve a lot of dressing up and ‘childish’ activities, as well as being spoiled and punished by their Mommy/Daddy.
Sissymaid
Sissification, or feminization, is a process where the submissive man learns to take on traditionally female roles. Often with costumes like schoolgirls or maids, and perform activities traditionally classified as female roles. They range from non-sexual acts, such as household keeping and apply makeup. Sexual acts would involve learning to perform oral sex or being anally penetrated.
Brat
A brat is a submissive who purposefully misbehaves, talks back or disobeys their Dominant’s wishes. This can be for attention, to test limits, or provoke punishment. They often enjoy being ‘put in their place’.
Conclusion
No two people are exactly alike, no two D/s relationships will look exactly the same or act exactly the same. Relationships of all types ―kinky or otherwise― involve the communication of needs and negotiations to make sure each partner is fulfilled.
With open communication exploring these different relationships can be a lot of fun.